Poole Town 2 v 0 Winchester

Tonight was going to be a very different night – a sober one.

After all I didn’t need alcohol, it was the Prince versus the Pauper – top v bottom. Winchester reinforced this idea by turning out in sky blue T-Shirts with no names on them – thank goodness Primark was still open when they arrived.

 

How were we to know that this in fact was a cunning plan as no player could be properly booked (no numbers) and they were able to sneak extra players on to the field as they all looked the same…

Even the warm ups were different as Poole went through a thorough series of drills whereas Winchester turned up late and in the style of St Trinians, moped about until they were able to go back to the warmth of the changing rooms. If victory was defined by volume of the trainer, surely this game was in the bag

Poole started brightly when the ball found its way to the right to the open Kelly in the 2^nd minute and an audacious chip just went over the bar.

Play though was scrappy and both teams traded penalty shouts as the ball struck Walker clearly in the chest (not hand ball) and Charles fell over at the other end (Tom Daley-esque)

Devlin was now taking control of the midfield with his tenacious tackling and unfeasibly long hang time in the air for headers and had 2 efforts miss narrowly from long range.

On 30 minutes Walker transformed himself into a tank and whilst running up for a free kick pushed over a Winchester player then ran over him. He was on the edge now as it was so unnecessary and still a long way to go – yellow card

I almost missed the incident as I was passing around the “friends of Kelly” petition that I’d typed up.  Him having no friends on the team was the only reason I could think of why no-one would pass to him, despite him clearly having the run of the park on the right. Yes, I understand that Preston has pace on the left– but he didn’t have space.

Just because Burbidge wasn’t playing, doesn’t mean that the ball shouldn’t go right.

On 44 minutes , after a first half of almost constant Poole pressure with no goals, the ball finally made it to Kelly

“Yes” I thought, until he trod on the ball – maybe his team mates knew more than I did – but no, he doubled back, beat the defender and charged at the goal. His shot, from the right was powerful and accurate and the keeper did well to parry it away – straight to Byerley. He steadied himself and shot as if to break the net and I’m sure it did – if your goal was in Wimborne

0-0 at half time: sod this sobriety lark – it was cold and I needed a beer

The half time team talk was obviously worth its weight in gold as Preston had a shot saved on the line in the first 2 minutes but Winchester were still in it as their 6 (running joke)  ran through on 49 minutes and Hutchings made a great save to his right.

Although Poole were still the dominant side they still constantly ignored the easy ball to the wing and one such aimless ball was floated up to Charles on 58 minutes. A half hearted challenge with a defender, though, ricocheted in his favour and he ran though to slot home superbly: 1-0

Just 3 minutes later another long ball sent Preston running forward. It looked hopeless but his speed took him past the defender and he smashed the ball to the keeper’s left 2-0 – a great finish

This was game over now for Winchester as they resorted to kicking out to keep the score down. The only real fear Poole fans felt was when Taff attempted an overhead bicycle kick clearance in defence. I say fear, but it was more excitement for me, as I had him down for an age appropriate hip injury – but he defied all odds and carried on playing

There was still time for Byerley  to strike the bar, with Kelly missing from close range from the resulting cross and for a free lick to strike the post but in fairness 2-0 was probably a true reflection of the play

Summary – Good enough to win – but not good enough to be in the next league. Plus, Poole should kiss and make up with Kelly and give him the ball more

MOM – Man of the Match – Devlin –superb in the middle (closely followed by Jacob Cane)

MOM – Moaner of the Match – Byerley – I especially enjoyed how his voice breaks like a 14 year old girl who has just spilled her nail varnish with every “injustice” encountered

Poole Town 2 v 1 Sholing

Having witnessed 5 AFCB defeats in a row I was very much looking forward to seeing Poole Town v Sholing and I was to be rewarded for my bravery on such a cold night, despite yet another restricted view…..

 

Sholing soon warmed the cockles of my heart by going back to the grass roots of football by putting the fat kid in goal. All I needed to see was the small kid with the oversized kit and bottle bottomed glasses playing safely away from trouble on the wing and my day would have been made.

Poole started very much on the front foot and as early as the 3^rd minute Devlin had a rasping shot blocked wide by a last gasp challenge.

From then on it was the Emmerson and Burbidge show. Cultured passing from Emmerson put Burbidge through time and time again and Burb’s skill and trickery gave him extra space to fire in telling cross after cross.

It was from one of these combinations that Poole gained a corner after Burbidge amazingly kept the ball in and his resulting cross was headed behind. From the corner, on 18 minutes, Brooks rose the highest to head the ball home.

Let’s face it, the keeper wasn’t going to jump that high which did make us wonder why the next 2 chances for Devlin were struck along the ground. There was never enough clearance between the keeper’s low centre of gravity and the ground to score there.

At this point I remembered that the last time I saw Emmerson play, he played left back, so I wondered why he was at right back. This question was asked time and time again as his replacement, Dibba, clearly didn’t relish the left back position.

I won’t harp on too much, but in the second half Dibba fell over and the ball hit him and went out – that was his best contribution of the game. My pal offered to go get his boots, but refused to take his woolly hat off so the substitution never happened.

On 34 minutes, yet another attack from Sholing down the right (theme developing) had the ball crossed to Smeeton. It all looked safe enough but a smart turn to his right gave him space to smash the ball left footed into the right hand corner of the goal. In fairness it was a good goal, but was against the run of play.

We all enjoyed Walker’s ode to the Bee Gees shouting “Stay Alive” for the remaining 11 minutes but despite Burbidge running riot down the right, the half ended 1-1

We’d invited youngsters to the game and they ran to the bar as us old timers creaked our way from the pitch – thank goodness for that – I’d have never been served

 

Second half and Sholing clearly had ideas above their station as they were all over Poole. In a complete reverse of the first half Poole struggled to keep or clear the ball and the weakness on Poole’s left was being cruelly exposed

Walker’s cry of “if he’s there to be smashed, smash him” was taken as literally as it was intended as their 5 had the audacity to show tekkers worthy of a Soccer AM showboat sequence. He found it rather harder to complete the breathtaking move with a boot up his a**e.

By now Charles and Cann had been brought on by Killick in a brave attacking move.

Slowly Poole began to get a toehold in the game and Sholing started to foul a little more regularly. On 70 minutes one such foul resulted in a free kick wide on the right half way between the box and the half way line.

Just as the ball was struck, whipping the ball in wickedly, the Red and White army played their trump card and wafted 2 portions of chips and a saveloy sausage from behind the goal and while their keeper was understandably distracted, Charles ran in and headed home.

10 minutes later from a corner Poole scored again but the referee disallowed it – we couldn’t work out why, can you?

 

Poole then did a lot of running into corners and were almost made to pay as a last gasp Sholing attack on the left had the ball crossed in and just poked wide by their attacker at full stretch

Summary – A well below par performance but despite it being ugly, it was still a win. Positives were the Burbidge/Emmerson partnership and the fact that Poole have such attacking options on the bench. Negatives – not enough strength in depth in defence

Star Man – Emmerson – looks effortless on the ball and let no-one past in defence (Burbidge has every right to feel disappointed)

 

Poole Town 4 v 1 Taunton Town

A warmer night tonight and so I was down to the basic 7-8 layers.

We arrived later than usual so had to give the bar a miss and head straight for the pitch. I must say, like most grounds I was a little disappointed with the restricted view I had

How Can I see past this?

 

It was at this point I realised I’d forgotten my glasses and once announced I had to look into the pained expressions on my friends’ faces as they realised the awful truth – they were going to have to keep telling me who had the ball and what was going on.

In fairness I went into the changing rooms before the game and asked whether the players wouldn’t mind wearing sandwich boards with their names on, or at the very least celebrate their goals near me. I left as Walker approached me menacingly….

The 12 year old referee started the game a few minutes late and Poole were quickly on the attack.

Preston on the left and Burbidge on the right were giving their right and left backs a torrid time and powerful crosses saw Brooks go close twice – to be fair he deserved the chances after almost being scythed in half after 2 minutes by their no 7

On 20 minutes Burbidge took matters into his own hands by stinging the keeper’s hands from a tight angle but Taunton countered immediately with practically their first attack of the night down the right with a left footed curler just going wide.

It was a rare counter indeed as Poole had wave upon wave of attack with Devlin having 2 crashing shots in 2 minutes that the keeper did well to save.

I do have to mention the keeper at this point. How unlucky it was for him to have just put in for his incapacity benefit claim before the game and the benefit’s officer turning up at the match.

The keeper spotted him in the crowd and so cleverly showed him that when retrieving the ball, he could in fact only travel at 2mph and every time he caught the ball he fell over afterwards. On this performance, the cheque is in the post.

I thought then that Burbidge had got Comic Relief mixed up with Children in Need as he came on to the pitch bandaged up like Pudsey bear but when he came close you could see that he was badly dazed. In my opinion he shouldn’t have been asked to come back on to the pitch and it’s a credit to his bravery that he saw the half out

HT 0-0

Charles came on for Burbidge and for some reason that seemed to knock the stuffing out of Poole. It was almost a complete reversal of the first half as Taunton took hold of the game. This wasn’t meant to happen – I thought they came here for the draw

Their keeper still did want the draw – why doesn’t  Poole have ball boys? That would save all this time wasting nonsense.

After 15 minutes of pressure and several good chances wasted by Taunton, the rest of the team decided the keeper was right and started wasting time by kicking the ball out of the ground.

By the time Brooks fired over on 63 minutes the ball bag only contained a golf ball, a basket ball and Zoe Ball so the RWA chipped in by retrieving and throwing it back

Emerson was really starting to come into the game and it was he who finally unlocked the resolute Taunton defence on 66 minutes.

He ran down the left and crossed into the middle and the ball was met, on the volley, by Charles who put the ball into the far corner 1-0

Two minutes later the ball was played up to Charles again and he was felled inside the penalty area. A pen was duly awarded and Devlin put it away

Never in doubt

Their keeper kept up his slow motion performance even though his team was 2-0 down but the next major action he was involved in was picking the ball out of the net for the third time.

It was a mistake by their number 4 that allowed Cann to rob him of the ball and he hit it with the outstep of his boot into the bottom right corner 3-0

Taunton were looking ragged by now and when Cann was put through, chested the ball down and fired at the keeper, it was inevitable that the ball would fall to a Poole player, which it did and Charles easily knocked into the open goal left by their keeper waiting for his carer to help him to his feet

Taunton, though, had the last say in the game as their 14 ran from the half way line, beating at least 4 defenders with the maziest of runs before slotting home. The best goal of the game, the last kick of the game

Summary – It was all Poole first half but they did have to weather a tough 15 in the second. Once the first went in though, there was only going to be one winner

Star Performer – Devlin – tireless performance picking up the pieces and keeping Poole on the front foot for most of the game